


Weights

by thehelldoievenputhere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 00:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12594172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehelldoievenputhere/pseuds/thehelldoievenputhere
Summary: Sam angsts over everything he's done 'wrong'





	Weights

Inspired by [this](http://foolscapper.tumblr.com/post/99893340364/please-tell-me-what-is-the-upside-to-me-being)

***

Sam can feel it like a weight he's carrying on his back. No--not like a weight. Many, many weights. And each of them are different shapes, making the whole load harder to carry, and digging in painfully. All the ways he's messed up. Well, not only that, but most of it's his fault, somehow. So many people have died because of him. Good people. _Innocent_  people. Sometimes just because they know him, like--Jess. Sometimes, it's completely his fault, like Ellen and Jo. If he hadn't--if he hadn't trusted Ruby--trusted a _demon_ \--they would still be alive. That's another one of his weights. Ruby. If he hadn't gotten involved with her--if he hadn't _fucked_  her--if he hadn't lied to Dean--so much could have been better--would have, had he not been such a colossal fuck up. And then--there was Lucifer. He wasn't just one weight. He was many. The Possession. The Apocalypse. The Hell Memories. Technically, Sam didn't do any of that--but, he had freed Lucifer. Proved to the angels that he really was an abomination. To the Hunters that he was an impure freak. And the hallucinations. They were Lucifer, too, but he tried to class them separately to remind himself that they were _just_  hallucinations. They weren't real.


End file.
